I am not sure~

I am not sure~ What is friend actually~
When we are small, friends are people who play with us~
Teachers tell us we must have friends~
Then I realize, friends are just people who stay with us during happy time~
When you are in trouble, there are seldom people will lend you the helping hand~
I actually don't expect them to help me~
But, I expect them to understand my situation~
They just don't get it~
I would rather you keep quiet and do nothing~
Just don't give me extra troubles~
I try~I try~

If I die young~

For this long holiday~
I have knew that a lot of things will be bugging me~
The fear~~
The fear is eating me up~~
The fear of failing in getting an admission in US university~
The fear of death~
This is the part that I worry the most~
If I die young~what will happen?
"According to most studies, people's number one fear is public speaking.
Number two fear is death"~
haha~this is the quote that I used to use in my public speaking speech~
Number one fear is about speaking in the public~
I think I have overcome that fear~
Because the key is talking crap in front!
When you cannot convince them, confuse them~
Crapping is the best way to hide my fear~haha~
Okay~this number two fear~
I know~the sinus problem has been bugging me since the end of the year 2010~
I was not bothering that~
I thought it was just a common flu~
It would cure by itself, I thought~
But, the thing is getting serious~
In a quiet room, you will hear some weird sounds~
That sounds are from me~
My friend said I make the sounds with a certain timing~
About 5second once~
Haiz~I was thinking~If this sinus problem eventually turns out to be sinus cancer~
If it is sinus cancer~what should I do?
Die? Hmm~when I was thinking through this~
I realize~I am not afraid of the moment I stop breathing~
The thing I afraid is that after I die, my family will be crying out of their heart~
Suddenly I am so into the song "If I die young"~
the song is not about sorrow actually~
It is about gratitude and joy~
Death is not always a sad thing~
Everything has to come to an end~
It is just a matter of time~
Hmm~If I die young~

TOEFL test is on this weekend

I am back here again.
I don't have the kick to write on my blog these days.
But, today I am back here.
I try to write something on my current life and some tiny details that people do not realize.
Hmmm...What should I write?
Okay..some random things that do not related to each other, maybe?
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TOEFL test is on this weekend.
Currently, I am still in Taiping.
This Friday I am going back to Uniten to prepare myself for the test.
For most of my friends, I think they do not afraid of it.
They are good in English, not a big problem for them.
I just hope I don't fail to reach my target.
Regarding on my command of English, I seriously think that I have improved a lot since I have entered the university.
I try to communicate with people in English.
I try to make fun of my friend with some crappy English.
I try to share my thought in English with my course mate.
Then, I realize that the key is to keep on trying.
Do not always fear of failure. Failure is not a humiliation.
Failure is just part of the process to become a successful person.
The fear of failure will hold you back from achieving success.
Try, fail, try, fail, try, fail~
I think these are the routines for a successful person.
So, I may not be the best, at least, I try my best.
(By writing these at the same time, it motives me as well..Haha..
There is a time when you will think that you are completely an useless person, and that's the time you need somebody or something to pull you out from the misery and give you some hope to live on.
If not, you might end up committing suicide..Haha..)
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Hope I get back the feeling for writing blogs continuously~

Hope I get back the feeling for writing~
and again~it has been a while to write here~
Well, let's talk about some random stuffs~
From my experience for the past two days~
I realize that some care others more than themselves~
Some make trouble to let people who care about them to take care of it~
I wish I can be the one who care more about others~
But, I am not a benevolent person~
I can't stand people to take advantages of me~
and I just enjoy the feeling of being treated well~
This makes me think about the question of Ms Sharifah threw to us that day~
"Are you really in love or are you into the feeling of in love only?"
Hmm.. I think I am into the feeling of being treated well~
In a couple relationship, I think I just fell for someone who treats me better than other do~
Maybe not "fell"~just enjoy~
Maybe in my situation, I really can't get into a relationship for now~
My only concern for now is to get excellent TOEFL score and get admitted to a US university~
To say "I Love You", it comes with the responsibility to love her and  take care of her~
If you don't have the ability to fulfill your responsibility~Then, don't say it~
Don't go around and break young girls' heart~
XD~

Update of my life:
- I have got myself two harmonicas~
- In the process of learning~
- Hope to master the song ~Max Theme~ from DIgimon~
XD

Learn to appreciate~

Well~
Today is Father's Day~
I believe many people are celebrating with their dad~
But, there are some pitiful guys have to treat this day as a normal Sunday~
Imagine~
A police officer has to work on the ordinary Sundays
and yet~he still has to work even though it is the Father's Day~
He must have wanted to celebrate with his children so much~
But, he can't ignore his duty~Responsible Dad~
Sometimes, before you criticize, you have to learn to appreciate others hard work first
If you want to criticize, get the correct subject and get the evidence right~
If not, that is not criticize, it is just a malicious gossip~

Life in degree?

Life in degree first year~
Is like language learning~
Make sure myself to score in TOEFL and SAT~
The last two weeks I was like relaxed~
I can feel like this is the calm before the storm~
Big thing is waiting behind~
Application Essays~
Korea Trip~
You might be wondered what is Korea Trip~
Everybody now is crazy about K-Pop and Running Man~
At least I also crazy about these two~
Our dean suggested us to go Korea for University Visit~
Sounds awesome, right?
But, the money to spend also quite awesome in figures~
I am actually anticipating this project~
Interact with the Koreans~
Seriously, I never interact with a Korean before~especially a Korean girl~
Now, I am waiting the order from the project director~
I am willing to find for sponsors~At least I will try my best~
Every day after class, the best thing to do is play football with friends~
Is EVERY DAY~
But, today my shoes have spoiled~
I think tomorrow I am not playing so that I won't hurt myself~
The calm before the storm~this feeling is horrible~

Life is like that~

Sometimes~ It hard to determine it is whether correct or wrong~
Sometimes~ It hard to get an answer for a question~
Sometimes~ I think it is black~you think it is white~
Sometimes~ I think it is big~ you think it is small~
Sometimes~ I think I am poor~ you think I am rich~
It just the way how you think~
A person might sacrifice the time with the family to be with friends~
A person might sacrifice the time with the friends to be with his loved one~
It's the choice you make~
You might not need a reason to make the choice~
Maybe the only factor for you to make the decision is to~
Follow your heart~
Your heart might tell you to choose the most ridiculous path~
Your heart might tell you to choose the safe one~
No one can tell how your heart choose~
Sometimes~you yourself don't even know the reason~