If I die young~

For this long holiday~
I have knew that a lot of things will be bugging me~
The fear~~
The fear is eating me up~~
The fear of failing in getting an admission in US university~
The fear of death~
This is the part that I worry the most~
If I die young~what will happen?
"According to most studies, people's number one fear is public speaking.
Number two fear is death"~
haha~this is the quote that I used to use in my public speaking speech~
Number one fear is about speaking in the public~
I think I have overcome that fear~
Because the key is talking crap in front!
When you cannot convince them, confuse them~
Crapping is the best way to hide my fear~haha~
Okay~this number two fear~
I know~the sinus problem has been bugging me since the end of the year 2010~
I was not bothering that~
I thought it was just a common flu~
It would cure by itself, I thought~
But, the thing is getting serious~
In a quiet room, you will hear some weird sounds~
That sounds are from me~
My friend said I make the sounds with a certain timing~
About 5second once~
Haiz~I was thinking~If this sinus problem eventually turns out to be sinus cancer~
If it is sinus cancer~what should I do?
Die? Hmm~when I was thinking through this~
I realize~I am not afraid of the moment I stop breathing~
The thing I afraid is that after I die, my family will be crying out of their heart~
Suddenly I am so into the song "If I die young"~
the song is not about sorrow actually~
It is about gratitude and joy~
Death is not always a sad thing~
Everything has to come to an end~
It is just a matter of time~
Hmm~If I die young~