When I am emo, I write blog kao kao...

Recently I was on Twitter...
Sometime you get to tweet alot...but it just like you are talking to yourself...
People don't give a damn on what you tweet...
Haha...but it is good for me also...
Because people don't simply comment on how you think...
Today...I don't know is a good day or not...
but I think I leave a bad impression to my friends...
Chee Kang is a guy who emo kao kao after he lost the match...
haha...I was really angry to myself...
It was not supposed to be the way I play badminton..
Lack of training...Lack of determination...That's all I can say...
12.12.12
Well, it's a good day to set a goal for myself...
I want to be university single player...
I actually prefer playing single...
There is no one to blame but yourself..
I promise myself...
I don't want to play noob style of badminton...
I need to get myself fit..
To be fit enough to play in single...
It's a goal...to achieve...

Tired..

Maybe I am not good enough...

That's why I need a team to back me up...

Okay...I have to expect criticisms...

I can't always expect for praise and compliments...

After all, I didn't do a very great job...

When I was small, I hoped that I would become one of the most influential persons in the world..

I am now not mentally and physically prepared yet..

I am wondering..

What type of life I want?

A luxurious one?I have to work super duper hard...

A contented one? 

A simple one?

Maybe I am thinking too far...

Daydream

When I am bored, I will think of writing something..
This weekend is definitely boring..
I spent the two days in my apartment..
Playing FIFA13~Finishing my homework~
Looking for suitable universities~
Great~finally the weekend is going to end..
People are going to call me crazy..
Who want their weekend to pass quickly?
It's quite true that weekend I can have a break..
But, no one will talk to me when weekend comes..
The person that I will only talk to is the hawker
"Nasi Putih, bang...Ini berape?"
Great...then how about get myself out from UNITEN?
okay~spend little money to fill in my time with happiness..
quite worth...
but~there is nothing that I can do~
Watch movie?Hang out with friends?Eat?
Seriously, friends are always busy with their own things..
They have exam, assessments, girl friend, boy friend...
Great~or the problem is that I am not good in socializing?
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People tell me, don't be so desperate of girls...
I don't know~am I desperate or wat?
Seriously, I am not desperate...
I just APPRECIATE the beauty of girls...
XD~I think I have changed..
I want a perfect girl..This is what now I always say...
Perfect?How to define it?
My friend asks me, Which type of girls can be counted as "Perfect"?
Well, I just give them some crappy answer...
Fair skin, long hair, nice looking face,no spec, nice body shape...
Everything I mention, the girl seems like only can be found in the dream...
Ya..Dream girl..haha...
I kind of like ridiculous...right?
The perfect that I really means is that she has to be just nice to fit in my life..
just like the jigsaw puzzle...
Then people will tell me...Everyone has flaws...
Haiz...Great..everyone is telling me negative things..
It's okay..Self Fulling prophecy...This is what my lecturer told me...
I think there must be a girl out there...
Nice face, fair skin, long hair, nice body shape, nice personality..
Who is meant for me...I believe...
(Daydreaming....)

I am here again~

They usually say you have to grab tight the hand of the girl who is willing to be stupid with you..

She will not say she is stupid when she treat you well..but you will say she is stupid...

So, you should treat her well.

When you don't treat her well, then she will realize she is stupid...

Okay~A stupid blogger is writing a stupid blog.~haha

Everything has to come to an end..including the holidays.
It's birthday's eve actually.
I'm not going to sleep early today..
Feels sad actually.
I am leaving my home again after one month holiday.
Home reminds me about the responsibility of being a son and a brother.
My family members are always the best for me.
I always think that I do not spend enough time to be with them.
At home, I don't have to wash my own clothes.
Every morning I wake up, breakfast is ready for me.
I don't have to worry about lunch and dinner also.
Sometimes, you have to feel the cold only realize the warm you felt before.
Quite a lot of random things that I will write today.
I will just type what is in my mind.
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Relationship always comes with responsibility.
Last time, I always thought that in relationship "love" is everything.
Yes, a relationship is formed because of love.
But to maintain a relationship, the formula will be
love+responsiblitiy+dedication= stable and long run relationship
the 1st ingredient- love, that's easy. It is just a feeling that you are attracted to the opposite sex.
Crap. I want to turn my feelings and the thought in my mind into words.
Just fail. A lot of people do not understand me why I care so much about the responsibility and the dedication part.
Erm..I just don't know how to explain in words.
The only I can explain is that right now
there is no girl that make me feel like I want to bear the responsibility and be dedicated to the relationship.
I feel sorry for those who want me as their boyfriend. Sorry girls. You need to be perfect.
Beautiful girls do attract my attention.
I always tell my housemate, I need a perfect girl to be my next girlfriend.
He said that you will never get one and be prepare to be forever single.
Wow. Found a quote that suit me a lot. haha
“Boys think girls are like books, If the cover doesn't catch their eye they won't bother to read what's inside".” 
― Marilyn Monroe

I am not sure~

I am not sure~ What is friend actually~
When we are small, friends are people who play with us~
Teachers tell us we must have friends~
Then I realize, friends are just people who stay with us during happy time~
When you are in trouble, there are seldom people will lend you the helping hand~
I actually don't expect them to help me~
But, I expect them to understand my situation~
They just don't get it~
I would rather you keep quiet and do nothing~
Just don't give me extra troubles~
I try~I try~

If I die young~

For this long holiday~
I have knew that a lot of things will be bugging me~
The fear~~
The fear is eating me up~~
The fear of failing in getting an admission in US university~
The fear of death~
This is the part that I worry the most~
If I die young~what will happen?
"According to most studies, people's number one fear is public speaking.
Number two fear is death"~
haha~this is the quote that I used to use in my public speaking speech~
Number one fear is about speaking in the public~
I think I have overcome that fear~
Because the key is talking crap in front!
When you cannot convince them, confuse them~
Crapping is the best way to hide my fear~haha~
Okay~this number two fear~
I know~the sinus problem has been bugging me since the end of the year 2010~
I was not bothering that~
I thought it was just a common flu~
It would cure by itself, I thought~
But, the thing is getting serious~
In a quiet room, you will hear some weird sounds~
That sounds are from me~
My friend said I make the sounds with a certain timing~
About 5second once~
Haiz~I was thinking~If this sinus problem eventually turns out to be sinus cancer~
If it is sinus cancer~what should I do?
Die? Hmm~when I was thinking through this~
I realize~I am not afraid of the moment I stop breathing~
The thing I afraid is that after I die, my family will be crying out of their heart~
Suddenly I am so into the song "If I die young"~
the song is not about sorrow actually~
It is about gratitude and joy~
Death is not always a sad thing~
Everything has to come to an end~
It is just a matter of time~
Hmm~If I die young~

TOEFL test is on this weekend

I am back here again.
I don't have the kick to write on my blog these days.
But, today I am back here.
I try to write something on my current life and some tiny details that people do not realize.
Hmmm...What should I write?
Okay..some random things that do not related to each other, maybe?
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TOEFL test is on this weekend.
Currently, I am still in Taiping.
This Friday I am going back to Uniten to prepare myself for the test.
For most of my friends, I think they do not afraid of it.
They are good in English, not a big problem for them.
I just hope I don't fail to reach my target.
Regarding on my command of English, I seriously think that I have improved a lot since I have entered the university.
I try to communicate with people in English.
I try to make fun of my friend with some crappy English.
I try to share my thought in English with my course mate.
Then, I realize that the key is to keep on trying.
Do not always fear of failure. Failure is not a humiliation.
Failure is just part of the process to become a successful person.
The fear of failure will hold you back from achieving success.
Try, fail, try, fail, try, fail~
I think these are the routines for a successful person.
So, I may not be the best, at least, I try my best.
(By writing these at the same time, it motives me as well..Haha..
There is a time when you will think that you are completely an useless person, and that's the time you need somebody or something to pull you out from the misery and give you some hope to live on.
If not, you might end up committing suicide..Haha..)
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Hope I get back the feeling for writing blogs continuously~

Hope I get back the feeling for writing~
and again~it has been a while to write here~
Well, let's talk about some random stuffs~
From my experience for the past two days~
I realize that some care others more than themselves~
Some make trouble to let people who care about them to take care of it~
I wish I can be the one who care more about others~
But, I am not a benevolent person~
I can't stand people to take advantages of me~
and I just enjoy the feeling of being treated well~
This makes me think about the question of Ms Sharifah threw to us that day~
"Are you really in love or are you into the feeling of in love only?"
Hmm.. I think I am into the feeling of being treated well~
In a couple relationship, I think I just fell for someone who treats me better than other do~
Maybe not "fell"~just enjoy~
Maybe in my situation, I really can't get into a relationship for now~
My only concern for now is to get excellent TOEFL score and get admitted to a US university~
To say "I Love You", it comes with the responsibility to love her and  take care of her~
If you don't have the ability to fulfill your responsibility~Then, don't say it~
Don't go around and break young girls' heart~
XD~

Update of my life:
- I have got myself two harmonicas~
- In the process of learning~
- Hope to master the song ~Max Theme~ from DIgimon~
XD

Learn to appreciate~

Well~
Today is Father's Day~
I believe many people are celebrating with their dad~
But, there are some pitiful guys have to treat this day as a normal Sunday~
Imagine~
A police officer has to work on the ordinary Sundays
and yet~he still has to work even though it is the Father's Day~
He must have wanted to celebrate with his children so much~
But, he can't ignore his duty~Responsible Dad~
Sometimes, before you criticize, you have to learn to appreciate others hard work first
If you want to criticize, get the correct subject and get the evidence right~
If not, that is not criticize, it is just a malicious gossip~

Life in degree?

Life in degree first year~
Is like language learning~
Make sure myself to score in TOEFL and SAT~
The last two weeks I was like relaxed~
I can feel like this is the calm before the storm~
Big thing is waiting behind~
Application Essays~
Korea Trip~
You might be wondered what is Korea Trip~
Everybody now is crazy about K-Pop and Running Man~
At least I also crazy about these two~
Our dean suggested us to go Korea for University Visit~
Sounds awesome, right?
But, the money to spend also quite awesome in figures~
I am actually anticipating this project~
Interact with the Koreans~
Seriously, I never interact with a Korean before~especially a Korean girl~
Now, I am waiting the order from the project director~
I am willing to find for sponsors~At least I will try my best~
Every day after class, the best thing to do is play football with friends~
Is EVERY DAY~
But, today my shoes have spoiled~
I think tomorrow I am not playing so that I won't hurt myself~
The calm before the storm~this feeling is horrible~

Life is like that~

Sometimes~ It hard to determine it is whether correct or wrong~
Sometimes~ It hard to get an answer for a question~
Sometimes~ I think it is black~you think it is white~
Sometimes~ I think it is big~ you think it is small~
Sometimes~ I think I am poor~ you think I am rich~
It just the way how you think~
A person might sacrifice the time with the family to be with friends~
A person might sacrifice the time with the friends to be with his loved one~
It's the choice you make~
You might not need a reason to make the choice~
Maybe the only factor for you to make the decision is to~
Follow your heart~
Your heart might tell you to choose the most ridiculous path~
Your heart might tell you to choose the safe one~
No one can tell how your heart choose~
Sometimes~you yourself don't even know the reason~

The mask/The Joker~

I think the best thing of me is I never show my true color~
I think no one has ever seen my true color~
Putting on a mask to face people in my life~
Maybe that's make me never try to communicate with others with my heart~
People might just receive my fake smile~and then forget about it~
Fake a smile~
Is a thing I always do~ =)

Today~is a good day~

Actually today~I planned to go for shopping~
My shoes~Present~
But, I didn't~
Early in the morning, I sweep the floor~Clean the balcony~Laundry~
And wash the fan~
Then my housemate asked me out to Sungai Wang~
OMG~That's far~Felt so lazy~
So I turned him down~
I follow my friends out for lunch~
Then we went to buy things for the orphans~
I and one of my friends make a fruit hamper~
Quite beautiful the packing~XD
Helping friends make me feel great~
At least I felt my help was appreciated~
Tomorrow~I am following them to the orphanage~
Yeah~

What am I doing here?

What am I doing here?
Tomorrow I have Chemistry and Physics paper~
I am not doing my revision right now~
I don't know~I think my way of studying for exam is the relax method~
I don't do the last minute work~
The last minute~I play and some light revision~XD
That's what I always proud of~
During exam week, I see everyone is eating up the books~
I am glad I don't have to~
It will be very difficult right?
But, sometimes it is not good~
It leads me to become over confident~
Today both two-hours-papers i finished them in one hour and went out of the hall~
OMG~Hopefully I don't die~
Today I feel like want to emo~
I miss my home~
I miss my family~
One more week~
I have to bear with it~
Okay~Here's my plan~
After writing the blog, I will do some short revision on Physics~
Then Running Man~
Ei, still early~
Exam~Great~

It's has been a while for me to post a blog~

It was a busy month for me~
I had been busy preparing for the Mudball Project~
I know something unhappy that happened to me and my friends~
But, I guess we just assume nothing bad happened and just remembered the fun part~
Mudball~
I am the Pirate King~
Pirate King is just because I am the one who planned who the Treasure Hunt~
It was a complicated one~But~I think that those participants had fun in it~
Mudball~looked like a pokeball to me~
This project~was a memorable one for me~
When the bitter part ends, here comes the sweet part~
I realized that the effort that I put in~was not wasted~
Haha~ I don't have the mood to type a long blog~
Because exam is just tomorrow~I will just upload some pictures and tell story on it~
But~that day i was so busy until i sweat a lot~So, the look in the picture not too handsome~haha~
Mission Accomplished!
Mudball Project~
Date : 28/4/2012 (Saturday)
Venue : SMJK Jit Sin
Time : 9am to 5.30pm

This was the night before. We were at SMK Tun SSS. I and my friend, Shafi were discussing about our work. Then, come the camera man, Hazim. I smile to the camera during the discussion.~haha~As i said, the look is not that handsome~

The day before we departed to Jit Sin. Everyone was excited~

Mr Busy of the day~Actually everyone was also busy~I was not the only one who busy around~See the mudball behind~ =)

Mr Awesome ~ This one~Feels so great~Most of the program planning was done by me~So, if I don't know every detail about our program, then no one will know~haha~Because of that, I need to brief to those participants~Feel so awesome to speak in front of school girls and boys~XD~

This one~one of our "advisors"~from MPSP~He helped us a lot in the mudball making~But, this was when we got lectured by him~

Yeah~Mudball~On the left~My Raymond with white spec~On the right Ms Director of the project~At the middle one~Mr Awesome~but the look as i mention earlier~not that awesome~never mind~What I did that day was awesome enough~

Having a short break~Pose~=)

This was the funny part~Certificate giving~I was actually a guy who was not in the high committee of Mudball Project~But, I was the one giving away the certificate~damn funny~All the director, co-director, lecturer~all don't know go where~

This was after the closing ceremony. It's time for us to pack our stuff and the participants to go back~But they come to me and want to have a photo~ then ~cheese~ =)

One of the participants~ but my hand looked cacat in this photo~

The lollipop I got from the participants after the closing ceremony~Yeah~so Sweet~

Time flies~

Fuh~Time flies~
Weeks have passed~
And a few weeks more~
My community service project will come to end~
My final exam is around the corner also~
After all this~that means my foundation has ended~
So fast~
Convocation Night~I am really looking forward to this~
Because this might be the last convo i have in Malaysia~
I really want my parents to see this~
They must be waiting for this for years~
And see their awesome son graduates from foundation~
=D

It's a hard week~

This week we finally started our long-planned community service project~
Contact the school~
Fund raising~
Prepare for the program~
Everything has to be done next week~
Because we are going to Penang the week after next week~
Everything is in the rush~
It's a hard week for me~
Haiz~so many things that make my confidence level goes down down down~
Today~We planned to collect donation at UPTEN~
We thought it would be easy~
But in fact, to persuade adults is not an easy task~
I have been rejected for a few times~
The feeling of got rejected is damn bad~
I don't like it~
Another thing is~
Wednesday~
I followed the trip to UNITEN Muadzam Shah Campus~
I thought I can begin my hunting of Lenglui~
Can't find a lots~
But still managed to find one~
Cute and white~
I thought I was brave enough to have a photo with her~
But, I am a coward~
Haiz~shouldn't be so coward~
Now regret le~haiz~

Feel like scolding vulgar words~

I have totally lost my respect to you~
What?
I have no words to describe you~
I have decided something~
I will not ask help from others~
They will ask something for return~
These people got no life~
Don't have time planning~
I pity you~
You have a pathetic life~
No one to blame but yourself~

I will have more spare time~

SAT and TOEFL will be stopped for this semester~
These classes will be continued next semester~
that means i will have 12hours extra from next week onward~
Hmm...I don't know what I will do with the extra time~
Those friends who applied for US freshman year got their admission~
So envy~
Madison-Wisconsin, Iowa State and also U of Washington~
Aww~They will leave this year~
I~still in Uniten~haiz~
Never mind~
Life in Uniten will not be that bad~at least I get to see my family~
Some happy things~
Last week~I did not post anything about last week~
Presentation class~
I felt I was so awesome~
Although there are a lot of awesome people out there~
I still satisfied with my work~
Presentation class suddenly got a pop quiz~
Topic to talk for my group is about "Fan"
As usual, I will start first for my group~
I talked and acted stupidly~
Our group got the average highest point!
4 out of 5~Awesome~
Then, this week~was about informative speech~
We were given 8 weeks to prepare~
So, this was the 8th week~We got ourselves to be the first team to present~
Before we present, we heard that other sections students had screwed up~
This motivated me to be the first team to score the awesome marks~
We put in all our efforts~
Our presentation ended perfectly~
Even our lecturer had gone speechless~
She said we are like professional~
Nothing to comment~
Fuh~Awesome~
I always joked with my teammates~I shall do my introduction like this
"Good morning everyone. I (YCK) am Awesome One~
He(Relwin) is Awesome Two [Awesome too]~
He(ZJ) is Threesome~
and He (WL) is Foursome~"
For the coming presentation is about motivational speech~
I have a thought in my mind~
I want to make everyone tears~at least some~
To do this~I have to find teammate that I believe he/she speak sincerely~
I will try my best~I will definitely proud of myself if I successfully make them tear~
Here come something eye sore for me~
This Friday was my exam~During exam~I saw somebody cheated~
and they are my friends~
I don't know~I felt like want to stop them~
But~they used to treat me quite well~
Haiz~Then i decided to be quiet~
Cheating~to me~is not a good thing~
Yes, it appears that you will have a good grade~
But~that does not show your effort~
And it is also unfair to others who put in great effort~
Can you imagine if everyone is cheating? Then what is the purpose of having a test anymore?
I think I will tell them this properly~in a polite way~
Guys~Do not cheat!!!