I am not sure~

I am not sure~ What is friend actually~
When we are small, friends are people who play with us~
Teachers tell us we must have friends~
Then I realize, friends are just people who stay with us during happy time~
When you are in trouble, there are seldom people will lend you the helping hand~
I actually don't expect them to help me~
But, I expect them to understand my situation~
They just don't get it~
I would rather you keep quiet and do nothing~
Just don't give me extra troubles~
I try~I try~

If I die young~

For this long holiday~
I have knew that a lot of things will be bugging me~
The fear~~
The fear is eating me up~~
The fear of failing in getting an admission in US university~
The fear of death~
This is the part that I worry the most~
If I die young~what will happen?
"According to most studies, people's number one fear is public speaking.
Number two fear is death"~
haha~this is the quote that I used to use in my public speaking speech~
Number one fear is about speaking in the public~
I think I have overcome that fear~
Because the key is talking crap in front!
When you cannot convince them, confuse them~
Crapping is the best way to hide my fear~haha~
Okay~this number two fear~
I know~the sinus problem has been bugging me since the end of the year 2010~
I was not bothering that~
I thought it was just a common flu~
It would cure by itself, I thought~
But, the thing is getting serious~
In a quiet room, you will hear some weird sounds~
That sounds are from me~
My friend said I make the sounds with a certain timing~
About 5second once~
Haiz~I was thinking~If this sinus problem eventually turns out to be sinus cancer~
If it is sinus cancer~what should I do?
Die? Hmm~when I was thinking through this~
I realize~I am not afraid of the moment I stop breathing~
The thing I afraid is that after I die, my family will be crying out of their heart~
Suddenly I am so into the song "If I die young"~
the song is not about sorrow actually~
It is about gratitude and joy~
Death is not always a sad thing~
Everything has to come to an end~
It is just a matter of time~
Hmm~If I die young~

TOEFL test is on this weekend

I am back here again.
I don't have the kick to write on my blog these days.
But, today I am back here.
I try to write something on my current life and some tiny details that people do not realize.
Hmmm...What should I write?
Okay..some random things that do not related to each other, maybe?
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TOEFL test is on this weekend.
Currently, I am still in Taiping.
This Friday I am going back to Uniten to prepare myself for the test.
For most of my friends, I think they do not afraid of it.
They are good in English, not a big problem for them.
I just hope I don't fail to reach my target.
Regarding on my command of English, I seriously think that I have improved a lot since I have entered the university.
I try to communicate with people in English.
I try to make fun of my friend with some crappy English.
I try to share my thought in English with my course mate.
Then, I realize that the key is to keep on trying.
Do not always fear of failure. Failure is not a humiliation.
Failure is just part of the process to become a successful person.
The fear of failure will hold you back from achieving success.
Try, fail, try, fail, try, fail~
I think these are the routines for a successful person.
So, I may not be the best, at least, I try my best.
(By writing these at the same time, it motives me as well..Haha..
There is a time when you will think that you are completely an useless person, and that's the time you need somebody or something to pull you out from the misery and give you some hope to live on.
If not, you might end up committing suicide..Haha..)
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