When I am emo, I write blog kao kao...

Recently I was on Twitter...
Sometime you get to tweet alot...but it just like you are talking to yourself...
People don't give a damn on what you tweet...
Haha...but it is good for me also...
Because people don't simply comment on how you think...
Today...I don't know is a good day or not...
but I think I leave a bad impression to my friends...
Chee Kang is a guy who emo kao kao after he lost the match...
haha...I was really angry to myself...
It was not supposed to be the way I play badminton..
Lack of training...Lack of determination...That's all I can say...
12.12.12
Well, it's a good day to set a goal for myself...
I want to be university single player...
I actually prefer playing single...
There is no one to blame but yourself..
I promise myself...
I don't want to play noob style of badminton...
I need to get myself fit..
To be fit enough to play in single...
It's a goal...to achieve...

Tired..

Maybe I am not good enough...

That's why I need a team to back me up...

Okay...I have to expect criticisms...

I can't always expect for praise and compliments...

After all, I didn't do a very great job...

When I was small, I hoped that I would become one of the most influential persons in the world..

I am now not mentally and physically prepared yet..

I am wondering..

What type of life I want?

A luxurious one?I have to work super duper hard...

A contented one? 

A simple one?

Maybe I am thinking too far...

Daydream

When I am bored, I will think of writing something..
This weekend is definitely boring..
I spent the two days in my apartment..
Playing FIFA13~Finishing my homework~
Looking for suitable universities~
Great~finally the weekend is going to end..
People are going to call me crazy..
Who want their weekend to pass quickly?
It's quite true that weekend I can have a break..
But, no one will talk to me when weekend comes..
The person that I will only talk to is the hawker
"Nasi Putih, bang...Ini berape?"
Great...then how about get myself out from UNITEN?
okay~spend little money to fill in my time with happiness..
quite worth...
but~there is nothing that I can do~
Watch movie?Hang out with friends?Eat?
Seriously, friends are always busy with their own things..
They have exam, assessments, girl friend, boy friend...
Great~or the problem is that I am not good in socializing?
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People tell me, don't be so desperate of girls...
I don't know~am I desperate or wat?
Seriously, I am not desperate...
I just APPRECIATE the beauty of girls...
XD~I think I have changed..
I want a perfect girl..This is what now I always say...
Perfect?How to define it?
My friend asks me, Which type of girls can be counted as "Perfect"?
Well, I just give them some crappy answer...
Fair skin, long hair, nice looking face,no spec, nice body shape...
Everything I mention, the girl seems like only can be found in the dream...
Ya..Dream girl..haha...
I kind of like ridiculous...right?
The perfect that I really means is that she has to be just nice to fit in my life..
just like the jigsaw puzzle...
Then people will tell me...Everyone has flaws...
Haiz...Great..everyone is telling me negative things..
It's okay..Self Fulling prophecy...This is what my lecturer told me...
I think there must be a girl out there...
Nice face, fair skin, long hair, nice body shape, nice personality..
Who is meant for me...I believe...
(Daydreaming....)

I am here again~

They usually say you have to grab tight the hand of the girl who is willing to be stupid with you..

She will not say she is stupid when she treat you well..but you will say she is stupid...

So, you should treat her well.

When you don't treat her well, then she will realize she is stupid...

Okay~A stupid blogger is writing a stupid blog.~haha

Everything has to come to an end..including the holidays.
It's birthday's eve actually.
I'm not going to sleep early today..
Feels sad actually.
I am leaving my home again after one month holiday.
Home reminds me about the responsibility of being a son and a brother.
My family members are always the best for me.
I always think that I do not spend enough time to be with them.
At home, I don't have to wash my own clothes.
Every morning I wake up, breakfast is ready for me.
I don't have to worry about lunch and dinner also.
Sometimes, you have to feel the cold only realize the warm you felt before.
Quite a lot of random things that I will write today.
I will just type what is in my mind.
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Relationship always comes with responsibility.
Last time, I always thought that in relationship "love" is everything.
Yes, a relationship is formed because of love.
But to maintain a relationship, the formula will be
love+responsiblitiy+dedication= stable and long run relationship
the 1st ingredient- love, that's easy. It is just a feeling that you are attracted to the opposite sex.
Crap. I want to turn my feelings and the thought in my mind into words.
Just fail. A lot of people do not understand me why I care so much about the responsibility and the dedication part.
Erm..I just don't know how to explain in words.
The only I can explain is that right now
there is no girl that make me feel like I want to bear the responsibility and be dedicated to the relationship.
I feel sorry for those who want me as their boyfriend. Sorry girls. You need to be perfect.
Beautiful girls do attract my attention.
I always tell my housemate, I need a perfect girl to be my next girlfriend.
He said that you will never get one and be prepare to be forever single.
Wow. Found a quote that suit me a lot. haha
“Boys think girls are like books, If the cover doesn't catch their eye they won't bother to read what's inside".” 
― Marilyn Monroe

I am not sure~

I am not sure~ What is friend actually~
When we are small, friends are people who play with us~
Teachers tell us we must have friends~
Then I realize, friends are just people who stay with us during happy time~
When you are in trouble, there are seldom people will lend you the helping hand~
I actually don't expect them to help me~
But, I expect them to understand my situation~
They just don't get it~
I would rather you keep quiet and do nothing~
Just don't give me extra troubles~
I try~I try~

If I die young~

For this long holiday~
I have knew that a lot of things will be bugging me~
The fear~~
The fear is eating me up~~
The fear of failing in getting an admission in US university~
The fear of death~
This is the part that I worry the most~
If I die young~what will happen?
"According to most studies, people's number one fear is public speaking.
Number two fear is death"~
haha~this is the quote that I used to use in my public speaking speech~
Number one fear is about speaking in the public~
I think I have overcome that fear~
Because the key is talking crap in front!
When you cannot convince them, confuse them~
Crapping is the best way to hide my fear~haha~
Okay~this number two fear~
I know~the sinus problem has been bugging me since the end of the year 2010~
I was not bothering that~
I thought it was just a common flu~
It would cure by itself, I thought~
But, the thing is getting serious~
In a quiet room, you will hear some weird sounds~
That sounds are from me~
My friend said I make the sounds with a certain timing~
About 5second once~
Haiz~I was thinking~If this sinus problem eventually turns out to be sinus cancer~
If it is sinus cancer~what should I do?
Die? Hmm~when I was thinking through this~
I realize~I am not afraid of the moment I stop breathing~
The thing I afraid is that after I die, my family will be crying out of their heart~
Suddenly I am so into the song "If I die young"~
the song is not about sorrow actually~
It is about gratitude and joy~
Death is not always a sad thing~
Everything has to come to an end~
It is just a matter of time~
Hmm~If I die young~